The start of a negotiation often is that the parties produce a paper with their positions. If it’s not a formal paper for negotiations, at a minimum you should write a term sheet like “Document to Discuss.” Here’s the single biggest mistake people make: they negotiate piecemeal. The reason you make this mistake is you work through the document and try to negotiate each point as it comes up. The best way to handle this is to learn from lawyers; lawyers understand how not to negotiate piecemeal. Lawyers always start from a position of, let me hear what all of your points are first before we come back. Because lawyers are used to drafting documents, they hear all your points and come back with a comprehensive written response.
The reason you don’t want to negotiate piecemeal is that if you start negotiating point by point, there may be more substantive points to weigh in on. So even when you’re discussing it verbally, the way to response is listen to the other side as they explain each individual issue, and simply say out loud to them “listen, I’m not going to respond to each point, I just want to hear what all your points are first.”
I like to set expectations in a negotiation; the basis of a negotiation is that neither side is going to get exactly what they want. But if we each make appropriate compromises, we both should get what we need and it should be win-win. Another common mistake in negotiations is assuming that everything needs to be 50-50; people call it for some reason ‘splitting the baby.’ What I tell people is when you learn all the points that the other side cares about, ask them what is most important, and listen.
No negotiations happen without some amount of compromise, so you need to be thoughtful about that before you start. You simply have to create some padding; some things you know you’ll be able to give in on when the negotiations start. If you don’t give in on anything, you won’t seem reasonable, so with padding it’s easier to give in on some points. And of course, if there’s asymmetric power, one side will have to give more than the other, but also be aware that even with padding there’s chances you’ll have to make some tough choices about what you compromise on.
Mark gave this discussion on 4/30/16 on Snapchat. If you want to watch more content like this when it breaks, follow him on the ghost: https://www.snapchat.com/add/msuster.